Banks tote fraud many protection features like fast claims processing, risk analysis teams, and account alerts. All those things sure sound incredibly useful. Just imagine getting that one account alert notifying that some dildo named Stephanie in Port St. Lucie, Florida just purchased a sewing machine on Target's website. With some swift phone calls, Target cancels the transaction, your bank knows the transaction is not valid, and Stephanie has nothing to sell on eBay and decides meth and fraud are just not worth it. Everybody wins!
THAT'S NOT THE WAY IT WORKS
Luckily, I was being extra vigilant after noticing some odd activity in my account and happen to catch the attempted transaction with Target.com. A phone call to Target clued Target into the fact that I do not know a dildo named Stephanie in Port Saint Lucie, Florida and had no intention of sending her a sewing machine. The shipment never went out and the transaction will never complete. Everybody was very much not a dildo on Target's end.
I called up my bank and explained what happened. I asked why I never received the account alert I had set up for the very specific purpose of making sure dildos aren't trying to buy things with my money. They answered that the transaction has to complete before the alert gets sent out. Turns out the alert is useless if you want to prevent fraudulent transactions from completing and you are better off sitting in front of a computer constantly hitting refresh in your browser to update your account history.
The available account balance in the mean time reflects that some dildo spent 200 of my hard-earned dollars, even though the money has not left the bank and Target does not have the money. Further complicating things is my landlord not depositing my rent check yet. Had some dildo attempted to spend 1000 dollars my rent would have bounced and I would have been standing there looking like one hell of a dildo.
Oh yeah, that odd activity I mentioned before was some dildo trying to get a $25 gift card from Nordstrom's. Nordstrom's actually puzzled out that the transaction was fraudulent, reversed things right away and notified the dildos at my bank. I never got so much as a phone call from those dildos, the same dildos who vigilantly stopped processing on my debit card after a purchase I had actually intended to make raised some suspicions somewhere. I guess buying motorcycle parts is a bit suspicious, especially when I do it all the time.
As things sit now, my account balance is still showing a $200 hit though that should go away sometime soon. My rent check hasn't gone through, but as soon as it does I will take my money and run. My bank had done plenty of acting like a bunch of dildos though until now I never quite had the motivation to switch.
Bank of America is dildos.
Debit card fraud is dildos.
